noBra_w/thatBlouse

I don’t think it’s offensive for a woman to wear a shirt without a bra, given her breasts are like A-B cup. But I feel that woman with larger assets, need the freakin’ support man.

I say for the young women who buy the padded or padded+push-ups need to embrace their size. You can still be sexy, flaunt it anyway. You can go without a bra and I bet guys will think that’s hot, if not hotter than having your sisters pushed together.

That’s all I had to say.

 

-r

puffy_eyes

Putting makeup on puffy eyes is strange.

 

sigh.

 

-r

my<3mayburst/iMightdie

The feeling that your heart has a huge hole. Like your favorite stuffed animal is gone. Like the guy I love, doesn’t love me anymore. Devastated. Absolutely devastating. I feel I could die. Every relationship I’ve been in, I have some how performed self destruction to tip the boat– without even knowing it. Whattheshit.

 

I am just crying and crying. I can’t go a moment without fighting the urge to break down. I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do. He claims he can’t make things like before overnight, but if you love someone and they come back, shouldn’t it just fall back into place? It did for me.  W i l l   I   e v e r   g e t   i t   b a c k ?  

Knowing the person who loved you to death and made you feel almost suffocated by their love, now make you beg for their affection.

 

I can’t take this.

Someone steal my ipod so I don’t listen to serious sappy/sad love songs. Pretty please.

 

-r

schoolgirlskirts&_men

Real quick:

I was on the C train this morning and this girl sitting across from me looked to be going to school, because she had a light blue school girl skirt and book bag+the long socks.

So she gets off at 14th and while she’s waiting for the doors to open, I looked at every guy in there, women included, but men especially.. and they were just staring. And you Know, they are thinking dirty things. You know it, don’t even deny it. It wasn’t like she was super pretty either or had a nice ass, it was the skirt. I’m familiar with men and their school girl fantasy but seriously, the skirt has such power/bad and good.

 

So I then made eye contact with the surrounding men, smiling–because I knew.

 

-r

ohh/chef..

So I have been rather frustrated with the fact that I wanted to come in on one of my days off to help out in kitchen where I work, but on the savory side. I’ve always been a terrible cook, and I only took the pastry course. I was willing to work for free too. But I told my pastry chef and she said she wouldn’t allow it. Her explanation consisted of me needing balance in my life, how I already spend atleast 60hours there, and that I should enjoy my time off, and do non-cooking things.

But I want to learn, hands on. Sure I can read, but I am more of the type that needs to actually do it to retain it and understand. So then I had to tell my other chef that I couldnt come in, and so that chef flipped out, because it seemed strange and unfair to deny someone of learning. It’s like, hey, free help man. wtf.

I even had another chef I know tell me that my chef may be telling me no because she has other plans for me. That I could be be ruining my chances at a raise (which is already overdue) or promotion in the future. That my chef may feel like I have betrayed her. That she may feel like, oh no, what if she leaves pastry for savory. I’m a pretty loyal person, I just like to learn all that I can when the opprotunity and chances are available, especially since I know everyone already and the kitchen layout and they like me, and it’s not like I have to pay to go to school and learn this stuff. I have the chance to learn it right there where I work, with people who are willing to take the time and teach me. This other chef even told me that it’s people like me, that try and learn everything and they end up losing focus and thats why they dont move up and become leaders–this was mostly directed towards women. Okay, with that being said, I guess I should stop cooking dinner at home, because it’s savory, and I could be losing focus. I say fuck that bullshit. Fuck it. Such horse shit.

 

Anyhoo. I won’t disrespect my chef, but I will say it was a surprise to me that it wasnt a universal response..

 

-r

taking_stepsBackwards

So after I was given the ultimatum, I ran back to my ex. Here we go again.

 

I don’t know. Perhaps I am the type that can’t stay single. I probably always need someone to love me and be there–in a relationship sense. I think I would be depressed if I were to be single. Like, I am aware of my tendancies to an extent. Why can’t I shake them?!?

 

So, wtf.

 

My room is such a mess. So isn’t my mind..

 

+mydreamsarebacccccck :O/:(

 

-r