WellThisIsAwkward.

So seriously, my apt has 3 bedrooms built in. All side by side down the hall. The walls appear to be paper-thin. Ive had a certain visitor over about 3-5x a week for the past 3 months. I think we underestimated the thickness of the walls and yeah, awkwarrddd.

I also think shes heard us talk dirty and other noised. UGHHHHHH. I want to magically disappear. or erase her memory. Goshdarnit. Why must she work at home and be home allllll the time. He’s in the process of buying an apt. Hopefully he gets it, because this is just getting ridiculous.

I guarantee she’s bitched about it to people whom I see on a weekly basis. eeeeek. fizzzUCK.

ooooXoooo

I saw my ex. ah. someone uppercut me please. thank you very mucho.

 

So I feel like an idiot for sure. He’s been doing that thing that boys do, they drop texts or whatevs to stay in your mind once you’ve slightly forgotten them and they make sure you don’t forget them. ARGG. So He was like, oh so can you hang out yet? And me being in this incredible relationship felt confident enough to say, Sure! You tell me when!

Well, to make a long story short, we end up grabbing dinner. I was so nervous. I didn’t know what to say or ask. I didn’t drink either so that didn’t help. He ended up doing most of the talking. It came of as show-off like and made me want to continue to keep my mouth shut. Things about flying to LA and going to Mardi gras for vacation and how all he did was drink and be a party boy. Not the guy I had originally met. It made me feel sick and not want to see him–at least not this season. He was the same yet not. I just kept thinking of how things used to be and how could an individual change so much after a relationship. I know it’s not uncommon but man, I don’t see the guy I used to know at all. He didn’t ask me any questions at all either. Obviously uninterested.

 

Awkward. He didn’t let me pay my portion of the dinner. I guess he still rememebers I made shit for money. He also texted me a happy birthday the next day. eh.

 

-r

ohtheTemptation

A few posts ago I wrote about the people we heart from afar–that was triggered my own experiences happening at that moment. Well my little lemon drops, mine just did it again.

Oh for the love of coffee, leave me alone por favor! He had texted me last week saying he was coming down to NY to meet a bunch of friends from Madrid or friends that had traveled with him to Madrid–whatever. I was short in my reply. Deeming uninterested. He was all like, oh I want to see you and I hope I see you and yabbadabbadoo.

Calls me last night at 3AM. I was on the other line with my love. I put him on hold. Let’s just backtrack a tad to give a back-story to me and putting people on hold for this guy..

One night it was probably 1 or 2AM, I was on the phone with my current love, at the time I was not interested in having any relationship other than friends and had no attraction. He was suppose to come over after work. The guy from afar calls and I put Love on hold–for a long time. Because the guy from afar didn’t call me often to just chat! I had to hold on to it. and I didn’t care that love was on the other line. Then I realized he was calling me while on the phone with guy from afar! Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. He must have called me 16x. So I put gfa [guy from afar] on hold and Love told me he wasn’t able to come over after all, he had just received a text from his brother that there was a family emergency and to go to LIsland. Perfect. I got back on the phone with gfa. end of that story.

..So I put love on hold and talked to gfa for 5 minutes. I cut it short for I was annoyed with him. Calling me to tell me information I already knew. Gimmie a break. And the fact he was coming down to see other friends but ditched our plans a few months back when he was suppose to come down to see me and the city? What the fuck was that none-sense. I was furious. I was in that same position I had always been in with him. Always putting me 2nd, 3rd, 4th, while he would confess his blahblahblah to me. UGH. The nerve. The game.

Secretly I am so pumped. I cannot wait to see him. I just hope nothing happens other then great fun without sexual-ness. Becausssee the last time we spoke on hot terms he was dropping hints like how he would love to be with me and how what if something goes on between us and how he would want that to happen and texting me to run away with him and  a l l   t h a t    b u l  l s h i t e .

Anyhow. I am exhausted from this subject. I shall update you on the visit.

ps. I finally got the G1. though I have some lovely rant saved up for that one..

  

-r