arggWorkrelationshits.

My boyfriend whom I work with was being a cry baby today. I asked what was bothering him and  he denied anything was wrong, but once I left work he texted me how he felt and whatnot. Apparently when everyone comes into work [he's usually the 1st to come into the kitchen], I distance myself from him and become cold and tend to tease him in front of others. And that he can take the teasing but wasn’t sure if I enjoyed doing it. Like it was on purpose.  He said he felt that I was smiling and laughing more so with others than him. He wasn’t sure if it was just jealousy.

Oh, bollocks.

It’s probably true. I probably do tease him since I don’t want to act lovey-dovey in front of co workers, especially when we both haven’t confirmed their thoughts on our relationship. Sure he may pick me up from work and help me out and we may eat lunch together and yaddayaddyadda, doesn’t meant I’m going to just be like, ‘oh yeah, we are dating’ . No way jorge. They don’t need to know. They can assume all the want. They may think they are 99% sure, but its that 1% that I need.

I just don’t know whats wrong with me. I don’t know why I do what I do. And then I end up making him feel like an asshole about feeling bad about how he feels. Arg. I don’t want him to feel terrible, I don’t want to treat him that way. Insecurities? Stubbornness? Just-plain-bitch?

I don’t even know how to respond, all I said was, ‘you’re right’. And he is the sweetest ever. How could I make the one person who means the most to me feel this way?

f and a.

 

-r