soYoucatchYour[loved1]onMatch.com

I thought I was going to pass out. I got that feeling like your worst suspicions had just been confirmed. I started shaking, my hands didn’t stop shaking for the next 8 hours–I was so beside myself. I couldn’t breathe.

I asked Him, ‘can you explain to me why you’re on match.com’

he came up with, ‘I clicked on the ad pop up when i was on aim’

‘but I went to delete it because I clicked on a popup’

 

okay, doesn’t make sense right? In addition to this–I found 2 separate messages from girls statingg that they had plans with him this weekend. One on Friday, one on Saturday. He denied he had plans with girls. Perhaps they are guys with girl names eh?

I felt so sick to my stomach all day. I gave him so many chances to just tell the truth. Either I am very crazy or he is such a good/bad liar. I am <3broken. I wish it were all a dream. I don’t trust him. Even if I was wrong about this, I still don’t feel right about it.  I was trying my best to make an effort in this relationship. Apparently, I lack something that causes him to go find it elsewhere.

 

I don’t want to date again..

 

‘If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.

Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get it to speak
Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge

and I don’t know what else to give’

 

-r

 

theBestdescription//of<3break

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. [Love takes hostages].

It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

-neilGaiman

 

–r

 

seeingYourex’s[fat&ugly]gf/bf

I don’t find the relief in seeing an ex with someone who is fat and/or ugly. I can understand if they leave me for someone hot. Anyone could.

What I can’t understand is if they leave me for someone worse. Yes, they have lowered their standards perhaps… [not to sound full of myself or to judge other's tastes, but you know we all think this way, its only natural.] But it’s just like, hi, you left me for her?/him and then I would begin to wonder what in the whole wide world did they have that I didn’t. I was lovely and you had me.

Boggles my mind.

It’s like being given a bmw, but you trade it in for a taurus. no offense to taurus drivers. Like come on. And it’s even worse to me, if they go to that level and then come back for you, its like no way José. But we can’t help it sometimes when they do come back to us from the fugly, you feel as if you’ve won.  

 

B u t   y o u   h a v e n ‘ t .

 

-r

forgetme//forgetyou

There is this power that controls us to control things in our life; and we can’t help it.

 Like for example, the boy I was totally head over heels for, I made myself turn that feeling off– and then it has come back.. slowly.  It haunts me. It makes me toss and turn at night literally. I didn’t fall asleep till after 5 am last night.

This boy makes me think of things I don’t want to. Like how I don’t feel my boyfriend is the right guy for me. How I feel as though there’s better out there but I seem to be settling. And then I think of this guy constantly. I can’t get him out of my head.

Am I feeling this way just becfause my boyfriend and I have been long distance for almost 15 months now and I am just lonely? Where do you draw the line wether or not I am in love or just plain love him? How come I find myself ignoring his phone calls sometimes? Why do my eyes wander now? If you’re in love, shouldn’t you just know that this person is amazing and albeit not wonder about others? Or perhaps I am too young?

I can’t get him out of my head; and as frustrating as he may be, he makes me smile no matter what.

–r

didntItellyou//Ihaveaboyfriend?

What is up with you gentleman out there that when you meet a girl and she has talked about her boyfriend and etc.; yet you still say shit like– ‘whats up baby gurl’, and things like, ‘hey wanna hang out, watch a movie, spoon, drink a little..’?

Is that appropriate in your opinion?

Perhaps this behavior happens more often when the boyfriend is a long distance one. So you try anyway, maybe you think she’s vulnerable and will give in. I don’t get it. How do you make it any more clear to a guy that he can’t be saying shit like that to you and that you are not available in certain situations..

Is it her fault? Is she giving the wrong idea somehow? What does a girl do that could reflect the wrong idea about what she wants/etc. from you? Does this make any sense? And then she feels like a douchebag because she keeps saying no to the guy [in a nice way of course] and he somehow makes her feel bad for turning him down. Wtf Seriously.

–r

takingabreakVSneveragain

I did it. I told him. I feel awful.

How long can taking a break last, and how much damage does it cause along with time? Can it ever be the same again?

I finally told my boyfriend we had to take a break.  Reasons were: we’ve been doing long distance for over a year now and clearly, I am staying NY, he is in NH. I would feel guilty if he just quit his job and moved down here for me. Besides, I just got a new apt. I wouldnt be able to move in with him if I wanted. I’ve been having a rough couple of months and I occasionally take it out on him. When I’m feeling bad and he can’t be there for me; I think I resent that even though it’s not his fault. I’m trying to move into my new place, trying to find a job, etc.

Another minor reason was I have been hanging out with a guy a lot lately. I mean, it’s really only once a week, but we communicate through email and text, or talking on the phone everyday for the most part. And yes, it’s a bit of a crush for me, but it’s been completely innocent. We just enjoy each other’s company. There’s been no funny business and I plan to keep it that way. I couldn’t be with anyone for a long time, especially after The Break– if in fact we never get back together. So I feel guilty, or perhaps I was made to feel guilty. Some one said, “sure youre not cheating physically, but mentally it is” I’ve been honest though, I mean I havnt lied, maybe withholding information.

I don’t know. I can’t even finish this thought I’m so confused.

-r 

cheatingORresearch.prt1

If you have a long-term relationship states away, and something crosses your path; do you follow it or ignore what may be the next best thing?

People say that long distant relationships rarely ever work. Well, how do you figure out if you’re part of that percentage or if you’ve gotten lucky. Some will say, “go on a break, see whats out there” “if it was meant to be, you both will be brought back together” ”just go behind their back”..

People can change your life in an instant. You are happy, and in love with someone, and then your head gets turned upside down. This person can make you doubt everything you once believed. Make you wish you were  s i n g l e . Make you laugh. Give the attention you need. Take your cares away. This feeling of newness, and guessing leaves you painted guilty. They consume your thoughts where yours truly should be. They cause you to find all the bad things about your love back home. You become overwhelmed with giddyness when you hear from them. They make you wonder, “what if”. You will eventually think of what you’d do if anything happened. If you can’t immediately say, “nothing will happen” well, you’re fucked.

So how do you find out if this is worth ending a current relationship? Is it considered cheating if you’re just hanging out with this individual?

r

grr.petpeeves

Things that get under my skin.

1. People who don’t seem to understand that in life, most things have a system. They act as if they rule the moment, and want it their way. You want it your way? Go to Burger King.
2. When people go to CVS or Aldo shoes, wherever; and there happens to be a good cause taking place, such as donating $1 to help give kids clean water in Africa.. it’s when people don’t give the dollar–whether you just spent $6.99 on shampoo or $79.99 on a pair of pumps; what is the big deal that makes people decline? ONE DOLLAR. I can understand the monthly payment donation clubs.. fine. But a one-time dollar payment will make you look good and will actually make a difference.
3. As a receptionist I answer phones with a greeting. I find it rude when people choose to talk over my .3 second Goodmorning to get their lousy 2 cents in. What’s the 911 interruption for? Really..
4. Another receptionist complaint I have is when someone will say, Caller: “May I speak with John Smith?” Me: “Of course, one moment..”. Then they call back because Mr. Smith didn’t answer. Umm, leave him a voicemail. Why are you calling me again? Caller: “John Smith didn’t answer.” Wtf?
5. When someone has a runny nose, and they just keep sniffling. Blow your nose!
6. When women don’t flush the toilet, or they don’t discard their womenly things. Come on!
7. When people dont match their belt with their shoes, especially suit guys.
8. Bad tippers.
9. When pedetrians stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Really puts me in the red.
10. When it’s summer, such as today being in the 90’s, and you go to Starbucks; you ask for a grande iced latte. You then get a grande hot latte. Why in the world would I get a hot latte in 90 degree weather? Common sense people– or maaaaybe.. just maybe I’m a tad anal?
11. When you’re going into a subway station, and the train is just coming, and some jerk in front of you is trying to get through the turnstile–but his card isn’t working. Stop trying to get through for the 6th time, it obviously isn’t working; let me go!! Then I miss my train.
12. OOh, another receptionist complaint: When someone says, “Goodmorning how are you, yaddayaddayadda” It’s like they greet you, ask how you are, but don’t wait for an answer? Why bother saying it?
13. People who take elevators to the 2nd floor– when they look perfectly capable, athletic, [maybe not so athletic], they arn’t pregnant, no shopping bags or groceries in hand. Just lazy.
14. People who aren’t curteous and cautious of their umbrella placement on the sidewalk–espcially in NYC.

More to come..

-r

foolmeOnceshameonyou:foolmeTwiceshameonme

Where do you draw that fine line between repetitive actions and different situations?

How about this.. You’ve had relationships where yours truly cheats on you, maybe just once or twice and maybe even a third time–[but for some reason that one "didn't count".] And every time he did it he had a different excuse for his actions. Point is you stuck with him. You forgave his cheating ass. You ignored your instincts and friends in the name of love. You made the common move of making excuses.

So you’re now in a new relationship, this guy is really into you and doesn’t seem like he’d cheat– blah blah blah. What about this: he nags you about eating unhealthy food, makes a comment if you eat a Hershey kiss at 11 am, alright fine, 4 Hershey kisses. He’s been mad at you, because you didn’t want to have sex. He’s been rude when drunk, very rude. Etc, etc, etc. He obviously has bad tendencies that you know he probably can’t shake.

So what I want to know is, Why do you put up with it? Can him already! But, why haven’t you? Because they were all different situations? Maybe you said ‘if it happens one more time’–depending on how many times it has already occurred. Or you say, ‘this was different’.

So the questions lies; are you falling back into bad habits of making excuses to validate why you’re with him? Or are these just mistakes, and the many ways of getting to know someone? Classic trial and error. We all know that a healthy relationship requires fighting here and there. No ones perfect, right?

So what fights are the right ones to fight for?

-r