slowdancedForthe1stTime–inaLONNNGtime

I had drinks with an amazing chef last night.

He is hilarious. Quick. Great hair. Typical ‘I can wear anything and make it look good’ attire. One of those guys that always make you nervous and leave you wanting more, but not too much in fear of losing the ‘always heart you from a distance’ feeling.

You feel me?

 

Yeah, he just pulled me in and told me to slow dance with him for a moment. I didn’t want to. My first thought was, ‘fuck no, I don’t dance anymore, and this is foolish’, YET so freakin cute. So he says, ‘but you want to, I can feel your hips moving’, and I replied, ‘then I shall stop’, and I did. and he says, ‘just once around, that’s it’.. reluctantly, I did. Lame.

But seriously, on another note, his facebook says [in a relationship], and he certainly wasn’t acting like he was in a relationship. tisktisk, I reminded him of his boundaries. I believe he understood what I was referring to…

 

more to come

 

-r

iloveyous&carcrashes

and so it all spilled out one night at work.

I was working service and he was off, we were texting each other about our day and such. Somehow it came up of how he was falling for me. How I couldn’t stop him from falling in love with me. Ohhhh lordy.

I insisted, no. It could never happen. I had rules and boundaries and insecurities and just NO. He didn’t seem to get it. I was freaking out. He then said he was meeting me after work to talk. I didn’t want to.

He showed up. I refused to get into his car. Finally did. He was very serious. Too serious–for my liking anyway. He was in love with me. He wouldn’t stop saying it. Every time he said the L word, I would cry. I don’t know why exactly. It was honestly, right out of a sitcom. He said all the sweet things. How he would never hurt me and said I was amazing and smart and talented and no one should have done me wrong and he would be different.  y a d d a y a d d a y a d d a

I got out of his car finally when he got me home. He begged me not to. I got out, he left the car on with the hazards blinking..

He kept blocking me from entering my apt. I was pushing and crying and couldn’t win. He would hold me by the shoulders and talk to me, telling me he loves me and couldn’t lose me. I was a bit scared. He wouldn’t let go.

He couldn’t lose me. Couldn’t live without me. ME. Little ol’ me. I had such an impact apparently. It seems I do with all the guys I’ve dated. [I wasn't even dating this guy] When people move too fast on me and do the mushy gushy I love yous, I detach. I peace out. I’m gone. I can’t get close so fast. Fuck no.

What did he end up doing when I finally got into my apt? Seems he drove his BMW so fast and wasn’t paying attention because he was crying and so distraught he crashed into another person and their car. Cars were towed and he started walking around the city, bought 3 6-packs of beer [this guy Doesn't drink.period] drank about 8 of them, drunk texting me, I am worried as can be; gets into a huge fight with his roommate, gets 0 sleep and goes into work devastated.

oy.

to be continued..

 

-r

thesituationWmr.ronburgandy

Ron Burgundy+I..

ok, well a few weeks ago we went out for drinks after work and we were having a good time as usual, chat chitting and whatnot. we are discussing our upcoming weekend where we had plans to cook dinner and go out afterwards. We were excited because we haven’t done that since our friendship started.

I say to him, ‘hey, since I live in Brooklyn and were cooking at my place– are we going out in Brooklyn, because if so, you can crash at my place for the night. I have a pull out couch with sheets and everything.’

he replies, ‘yeah that’s what I figured we’d do. uhh I’m not sleeping on the couch I’ll tell you that right now.’

wtf. I’m like, yeah you are, and hes like no I’m not. and this went back and fourth for a bit. i was dead fucking serious too. I was like no Ron- this is out of line, inappropriate, and ridiculous. and I finally said. fine you can sleep in my bed, ILL sleep on the couch.

it’s like, guy– get a clue. I was so pissed at him for that. he’s such a great guy too. I was to be quite honest, let down and disappointed he had put me in that situation.

more to follow this event.

-r

iSWEARimNOTunderage

I think its silly when someone has an expired license, and they get denied at a bar.

Hi! I live in ny now, hence why i didnt need to renew my license, because I dont have to drive, and this is still legit, thats my fucking birthdate, wtf, want me to show my titties? let me in and waste money at your bar for crying out loud.

whats wrong with people.

 

-r

itsbeenawhile..

things to update you on:

my work schedule changed. boooo/yaay

trust fund baby and I finally hung out to plan our yearlong trip around the world and then ate at morimoto and saw the man himself cooking..

me and the ex are finally final. im 99% sure [more on that on another day]

ive finally gone off the radar again in terms of going out and partying/drinking. oy vey.

me and ron burgandy are talking again.

we’re finally changing the dessert menu.

me and sun are already planning our thanksgiving menu.

been looking for a 2nd job.

i cant remember anything else right now.

xo

 

-r

facebook+walletslost

I went out 2 weeks ago. I decided to go to a bar by myself and just relax. Well, death co. seems to be a happenin’ place and so the guy at the door said to leave my name and number and he’d call me when a seat at the bar opened up. Lovely.

I go to an Irish pub a few blocks away and wait. Ringring. I go out to to death and it starts pouring cats and dogs. Terrible. Get there soaked. Drink delicious cocktails[*****], leave a bit drunk since I hadn’t eaten much that day.

Shouldhave gone home, but instead it was about 1230 and my coworkers were getting out of work, so it being my Friday night I stayed out. Long story short.. Was fucking loaded and lost my wallet. I got in a cab and decided to be semi-smart and see how much cash I had. Luckily I realized early on that I didn’t have my wallet. But, I did have my metro card. I tell the cabbie, sorry man, blahblahblah. drops me off asap, and I don’t know how I did it, but I found a train that went to my apt, ended up passing out and missed my stop. Get off at the next stop and don’t know where the fuck I am. It’s 330 and I’m loaded, lost and now running like a gazelle to get home.

Side note: Running when you’re drunk is  a m a z i n g . You can run so fast and so easily it’s awesome. I’m not a puker so for me, I can book it. OH and I had to pee like a racehorse, which may have been the enabler.

So I finally got home some how, strip down to nothing and jump into bed. I awake to my roommate getting ready for work, my door is open so the ac air can come in and with the covers half off! ah. That’s a tad embarrassing.

1pm comes, I get an email saying someone messaged me on facebook.. It read, ‘Did you lose your wallet?’

AHHH, Yes!!! So facebook is amazing for finding people when they lose their wallet.

 

-r

barrrrtendaCrush

Im guilty. I am totally crushing on this bartender I met a few weeks ago.

I surely hope I haven’t shown it, but geewiz, I leave with a permanent smile–it hurts my face.

Sadly, he is departing form the bar I frequent.

Anyway, me and my bar buddy found out about the news in regards to him leaving and we were like “nooooooooo, who will make us our drinks? what are going to do without you?”

He had then replied saying something along the lines of.. “I suppose I will be on the other side with you” [other side of the bar]

We were pretty loaded, and we did leave our emails for the chap. So the next time we stopped in he was saying how he doesn’t email and numbers are so much easier. So I left mine on a napkin.

 

The Next time I saw him, he said thanks for the number. Okay, so it’s been well over a week I’d say and nothing. I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything. But it kinda makes me bitter.

Bartenders are tricky though, eh? You can’t tell if one likes someone because they have to be uber nice to everyone and be talkative, attentive, etc. Tricky business I say.

So I’m not too bummed out, I will say it is the first bar I enjoyed thoroughly and went to on a consistent basis, first bar I went to by myself, and first time I have ever left my number. Baby steps.

 

He is ridiculously charming though. And has that British accent. And Jesus, when he shakes a drink–he does it well. Not like those jv boys who look like they are painfully jerking off. Ah. And he is part of a Shakespeare Festival thingamajiggy.

We shall see.

 

-r

sincewhenareyouintothat

Listen to this.

The boy I was trying to make things work with, well it’s been “over” for a bit now. His birthday was the 24th this month. I know when his birthday is ok? I simply have had other things on my mind like, why doesn’t he want to be with me, and how do I stop crying over him, or I can’t sleep and end up trying to find something to distract me so I don’t think about him. So his birthday wasn’t exactly at the top of my list.

What happenes is, I call him up and say the jig is up, I am no longer trying to pressure him or anything, I dont expect anything anymore. I just want to be friends and be able to hang out like before. So lets just forget about this shit. And he agrees and says he was never mad and blahblahblah. And I am happy, for the first time and very temporarily.

He then brings up the fact that I forgot his birthday. Says ‘that’s fucked up’, that we pretty much dated for 2 years and his birthday is like our anniversary. Like I am sorry, and by sorry I mean not sorry because this is the guy who HATES BIRTHDAYS. Doesn’t celebrate them, is depressed, doesn’t like them period. Now he’s getting in my grill about me forgetting?? Said, ‘It’s doesn’t exactly help you out right now’. As in, since we’re in a tough situation relationship-wise, I didn’t score points for forgetting? Wow. I should add that to my list of things to look for in a person.

He goes, I’m not trying to be an asshole, I don’t mean to make you feel bad. Fuck that. You made an effort to get your point across. I get it. Fuck off.

Not only did I have other shit on my mind, it’s like he knows I have the Worst memory ever. Ever. He knows this. Plus, What was I suppose to do? Hey we’re at an awakward stage where you probably don’t want me but hey happy birthday heres a gift, lets go out blahblahblah. I know I could have said a simple happy birthday but shit man.

Then I ask ‘Well I can take you out this weekend?’ He goes, ‘well.. well, Im golfing Saturday with my friend and I don’t want to go out friday night, because I have to get up for golf Saturday, and I think I’m busy Saturday..’

I’m like, ok, you can’t get drinks Saturday night? and he’s like, ‘well, I mean. yea ok ok ok, yea we can.’ Like fuck that.

Kicker is, he did go out friday night. Son of a B. I mean I’ve had a full schedule this weekend anyway, I made sure of that, so it’s whatever but that’s a shitty move man.

 

-r

 

..andeverythingwasgoinggoodtill–

I absolutely hate it when the day has been awesome and then it just sucks hard at the end, example:

Hung out with a cool lady from work the other day. We walk around downtown Manhattan, walk the bridge into Williamsburg, get some food [turkey panini with avacado+chipotle mayo+cheese//little bread with a creamy olive spread and goat cheese perhaps?]delish–and I hate olives. We both got sunrises: cherry and white beer mixed. I’m not a huge fan of beers, but this was goooood.

 

Leave, check out her sweet apt., leave, find a new place, try some apps and drinks, attempt to jump off the 3 milehigh bar stools, leave, go to her bar and fav bartender–James. Now this was a sweet bar, great space, excellent music, upstairs they had this outdoorsy thing where smokers could smoke. Just a good vibe. Met her cool pals, left, brought me back to her apt. to get me a cd to copy: The Cure, DISINTEGRATION [awwwwwwwwwesome album]

Walks me to the L train, goodbyes, I go down, I know I only had 1$ on my metrocard and you need 2$, so go to the machine, only accepts fucking cash. I have none. Just change. [NOTE: earlier that day when we got white teas, I gave her 4 quarters for the tip] I add 1$, swipe at the turnstile, “please swipe again” ok, fine. “please swipe again” wtf. ok, “insufficient amount” WTF. It stole my money without letting me through. grr.

go back to the machine find alllll the change I have, guess how much I came up with? 1.95$!!!!! omggggg, 5 more centsss.

So I have to leave. Look for an atm, see NONE. taxis: NONE. Then got lost. Call my pending bf flustered, just wanted to vent and I was alone and 2% scared + on my period so I was extra flustered. He says ” I don’t know what you want from me, I cant help you” ummm ok then, I will let you get back to getting ready to go out. hang up. Hurt.

 

Find a cab, he doesn’t take cc. Says he’ll take me to an ATM. Good, get me out of here. It starts to drizzle out, windows are closed, HES GOT THE HEAT PUMPING. [que????] Im complaining to my friend via text. She replies that, “it’s because they’re from a country that’s hot” ha, geez. Find an ATM, it doesn’t work after the girl in front of me spent 10 minutes there. Go to another, doesn’t fucking work. go to the next one, charges me 2$ which also means, since I am a bankofamerica user, and I’m now using a non-bankofamerica ATM, it fucks me big time because not only do I get charges at the ATM, I get charged again from awesome Mr. bankofameria –2$. fuck me big time with a whopping 4$. So I get my money, and the taxi was like fucking 15$, +I still had to walk 11 blocks. I didn’t get into my bed till 1/4 to 1 am with work at 7 am the next day.

 

bullshit ending; though could have been worse. So thank goodness I made it ok.

Then I drempt about it that night, how my metro card wouldn’t work and I couldn’t get anywhere.

 

-r

sooo//what2do0nmy21st

You want to be like Kate Moss??

 

BE YOURSELF!

ps. I’m tired and it’s my 21st. I don’t know what to drink to celebrate. Meh.

-r