heartOFzeeMATTER

 

M: “you can say anything to me”

D: “i wanna marry you
i wanna have kids with you
i wanna build a house
i wanna settle down and grow old
i wanna die when im 110 years old in your arms
i dont want 48 uninterrupted hrs, i want a lifetime
do you see what happens?
i say things like that and you fight the urge to run the opposite direction.
its ok, i understand, i didnt, now i know, i do. youre just getting started and ive been doing this for a long time. deep down, youre still an intern and youre not ready”

M: “im not ready right now, things could stay the way they are and i can get ready, ill get ready.”

D: “things cant stay the way they are.
we can still meet in the elevator, the on call room, and maybe youll be ready. and ill wait, ill wait until youre ready.”

M: “ok then.”

D: “yea but if, what if while im waiting i meet someone who is ready to give me what i want from you?”

M: “and what if you do..”

D: “i dont know.”

 
greysanatomy|heartofthematter

 

-r

seeingYourex’s[fat&ugly]gf/bf

I don’t find the relief in seeing an ex with someone who is fat and/or ugly. I can understand if they leave me for someone hot. Anyone could.

What I can’t understand is if they leave me for someone worse. Yes, they have lowered their standards perhaps… [not to sound full of myself or to judge other's tastes, but you know we all think this way, its only natural.] But it’s just like, hi, you left me for her?/him and then I would begin to wonder what in the whole wide world did they have that I didn’t. I was lovely and you had me.

Boggles my mind.

It’s like being given a bmw, but you trade it in for a taurus. no offense to taurus drivers. Like come on. And it’s even worse to me, if they go to that level and then come back for you, its like no way José. But we can’t help it sometimes when they do come back to us from the fugly, you feel as if you’ve won.  

 

B u t   y o u   h a v e n ‘ t .

 

-r

poetic//2

he had the power

to make my lip quiver,

he helped me dream good dreams.

 

 

and when i’d see him

i couldn’t breathe,

my breath was locked within.

 

 

he’d make me stumble

make me stutter,

and feel so foolishly

 

 

in love.

-r

poetic//1

 

this heart of mine is closed

come back when it opens

when that will be

no one knows

 

-r

 

forgetme//forgetyou

There is this power that controls us to control things in our life; and we can’t help it.

 Like for example, the boy I was totally head over heels for, I made myself turn that feeling off– and then it has come back.. slowly.  It haunts me. It makes me toss and turn at night literally. I didn’t fall asleep till after 5 am last night.

This boy makes me think of things I don’t want to. Like how I don’t feel my boyfriend is the right guy for me. How I feel as though there’s better out there but I seem to be settling. And then I think of this guy constantly. I can’t get him out of my head.

Am I feeling this way just becfause my boyfriend and I have been long distance for almost 15 months now and I am just lonely? Where do you draw the line wether or not I am in love or just plain love him? How come I find myself ignoring his phone calls sometimes? Why do my eyes wander now? If you’re in love, shouldn’t you just know that this person is amazing and albeit not wonder about others? Or perhaps I am too young?

I can’t get him out of my head; and as frustrating as he may be, he makes me smile no matter what.

–r

cheatingORresearch.prt1

If you have a long-term relationship states away, and something crosses your path; do you follow it or ignore what may be the next best thing?

People say that long distant relationships rarely ever work. Well, how do you figure out if you’re part of that percentage or if you’ve gotten lucky. Some will say, “go on a break, see whats out there” “if it was meant to be, you both will be brought back together” ”just go behind their back”..

People can change your life in an instant. You are happy, and in love with someone, and then your head gets turned upside down. This person can make you doubt everything you once believed. Make you wish you were  s i n g l e . Make you laugh. Give the attention you need. Take your cares away. This feeling of newness, and guessing leaves you painted guilty. They consume your thoughts where yours truly should be. They cause you to find all the bad things about your love back home. You become overwhelmed with giddyness when you hear from them. They make you wonder, “what if”. You will eventually think of what you’d do if anything happened. If you can’t immediately say, “nothing will happen” well, you’re fucked.

So how do you find out if this is worth ending a current relationship? Is it considered cheating if you’re just hanging out with this individual?

r

grr.petpeeves

Things that get under my skin.

1. People who don’t seem to understand that in life, most things have a system. They act as if they rule the moment, and want it their way. You want it your way? Go to Burger King.
2. When people go to CVS or Aldo shoes, wherever; and there happens to be a good cause taking place, such as donating $1 to help give kids clean water in Africa.. it’s when people don’t give the dollar–whether you just spent $6.99 on shampoo or $79.99 on a pair of pumps; what is the big deal that makes people decline? ONE DOLLAR. I can understand the monthly payment donation clubs.. fine. But a one-time dollar payment will make you look good and will actually make a difference.
3. As a receptionist I answer phones with a greeting. I find it rude when people choose to talk over my .3 second Goodmorning to get their lousy 2 cents in. What’s the 911 interruption for? Really..
4. Another receptionist complaint I have is when someone will say, Caller: “May I speak with John Smith?” Me: “Of course, one moment..”. Then they call back because Mr. Smith didn’t answer. Umm, leave him a voicemail. Why are you calling me again? Caller: “John Smith didn’t answer.” Wtf?
5. When someone has a runny nose, and they just keep sniffling. Blow your nose!
6. When women don’t flush the toilet, or they don’t discard their womenly things. Come on!
7. When people dont match their belt with their shoes, especially suit guys.
8. Bad tippers.
9. When pedetrians stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Really puts me in the red.
10. When it’s summer, such as today being in the 90’s, and you go to Starbucks; you ask for a grande iced latte. You then get a grande hot latte. Why in the world would I get a hot latte in 90 degree weather? Common sense people– or maaaaybe.. just maybe I’m a tad anal?
11. When you’re going into a subway station, and the train is just coming, and some jerk in front of you is trying to get through the turnstile–but his card isn’t working. Stop trying to get through for the 6th time, it obviously isn’t working; let me go!! Then I miss my train.
12. OOh, another receptionist complaint: When someone says, “Goodmorning how are you, yaddayaddayadda” It’s like they greet you, ask how you are, but don’t wait for an answer? Why bother saying it?
13. People who take elevators to the 2nd floor– when they look perfectly capable, athletic, [maybe not so athletic], they arn’t pregnant, no shopping bags or groceries in hand. Just lazy.
14. People who aren’t curteous and cautious of their umbrella placement on the sidewalk–espcially in NYC.

More to come..

-r

foolmeOnceshameonyou:foolmeTwiceshameonme

Where do you draw that fine line between repetitive actions and different situations?

How about this.. You’ve had relationships where yours truly cheats on you, maybe just once or twice and maybe even a third time–[but for some reason that one "didn't count".] And every time he did it he had a different excuse for his actions. Point is you stuck with him. You forgave his cheating ass. You ignored your instincts and friends in the name of love. You made the common move of making excuses.

So you’re now in a new relationship, this guy is really into you and doesn’t seem like he’d cheat– blah blah blah. What about this: he nags you about eating unhealthy food, makes a comment if you eat a Hershey kiss at 11 am, alright fine, 4 Hershey kisses. He’s been mad at you, because you didn’t want to have sex. He’s been rude when drunk, very rude. Etc, etc, etc. He obviously has bad tendencies that you know he probably can’t shake.

So what I want to know is, Why do you put up with it? Can him already! But, why haven’t you? Because they were all different situations? Maybe you said ‘if it happens one more time’–depending on how many times it has already occurred. Or you say, ‘this was different’.

So the questions lies; are you falling back into bad habits of making excuses to validate why you’re with him? Or are these just mistakes, and the many ways of getting to know someone? Classic trial and error. We all know that a healthy relationship requires fighting here and there. No ones perfect, right?

So what fights are the right ones to fight for?

-r

onewayORroundtrip

 Long distance vs Love: How far can love really bring us?

How do you evaluate a long distant relationship based on a few weekends a month–if you even get that lucky. You guys talk everyday, and you have your occasional fight here and there. But how do you know you wouldn’t be miserable if you saw each other everyday?

There have been instances where two people meet 2 months before the other was about to move, and they didn’t plan to keep it going, but eventually it leads to I love you’s. Crazy. How do you love someone with a phone/text/email relationship? How valid are things? Are you wasting time when you could find someone in your neck of the woods?

You have to wonder, is it something you’re doing because you’re lonely and want the attention? Or should you just let it go because it probably won’t work out in the end? But if you both are making the effort traveling to see each other, then that’s just terrific. Question is, how long will you guys be able to handle that? When will it become a hassel or create immense frustration? Another thing to ponder is: when is it the best time to test long distance? At the beginning, or more towards the middle where you two have already established an understanding of each other and have built that trust.

The chances that you guys follow through is not that common. The temptations of seeing someone who is right there in front of you is going to be tough. So what do you do? Trust them right? [Hoping you don't have the-oh-so-popular trust/jealousy issues.] I say it will be a true test of how committed you two are. The next big test is if you guys will be able to handle each other everyday. Obviously, there is the chance you may not make it to that next step. Don’t worry, as long as you guys tried your best you can’t have any regrets.

Long distance is the hardest to handle/deal with; so to make it through that obstacle successfully– I say Bravo.

-r

5yearwarranty

They say that for celebrities, if their marriage can last 5 years then they’re solid. So with that fact, what about us who aren’t in the worldwide spotlight?

If in fact 5 years is the number to obtain, then do we need to exceed that number being our lives are more ‘normal’? Why is it that more than 50% of marriages are ending up in divorce? Can we blame the courtship process? How about communication abilities? Could we actually have too many ways to connect where it takes away from the real one and one originality. You can’t tell me that talking via on-line has the same effect as if on the phone let alone in person.

We all know the pick-up lines, tricks, body signals, horoscopes and movies that influence us. We all believe in taking the car out for a test drive. We drink alcohol as a way to not have the possibility of humiliating ourselves. Why are we so embarrassed of who we are? Why hide or act like someone else when all we want is to just be comfortable with that person. Why make someone fall in love with a person you’re not?

More and more engagements are blossoming after a year of dating. We all want to move in and fast forward the process of relationships. Why don’t we want to wait anymore? We are all scared that we might be wasting our time, so we at least make it worth our while; as if to say you got this far. As if you’re a loser if you take 2 years before you move in.. so what?

If this was meant to be, then waiting and time does not matter, because in the end it will just  f a l l   i n t o   p l a c e.

If one doesn’t move in or go that extra step the other wonders and eventually will believe that you don’t love them because of your hesitance. So you guys move in, things are great and work out. Okay fine, rare occasion. A lot of times you break up and then you have to live there with tension and move out and it becomes a financial issue and etc etc etc. Or you end up getting married and then you guys fight about money, or one person’s jealousy finally comes out, or you guys just don’t have much in common because you never took the time to find out.

So a long story short: we all rush to the finish line which may lead to the I do’s and kersplat! You divorce with or without kids, with or without a pre-nup, and you have to start all over again. But question is, will you go at the same pace like before, slower because you learned, or faster because now you really don’t have time?

Ending on this note/fact: 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce these days.

Do you want to be part of a statistic? 

 -r