LA.ugh;neilpatricksBF.cool

I was in LA recently for an event. OHMYGOSH. While hanging out before and after work, LA is interesting. People definitely like to display their wealth in the most obvious way. Quite unclassy. Guys are driving benz while wearing armani exchange. I’mmmmm confused.

My chef and I were eating at an Italian restaurant outside and let me just say, LA is filllllled with valets. So this woman is with her kids and they were waiting for their car to be brought around, she waited for pretty much 20 minutes. My chef is like, with the time she was waiting she could have been at her car already and saved money. I was like, yeah well, shes wearing Chanel flats.. she doesnt want to wear them out. $800 flats. and theyre not cute. I love how people buy things just because of who makes it. This dislike falls into the same category of logos. I really detest when people wear shit just because it shows who they are wearing and how much they might have spent. Like ok, walking ad. lame.

Neil Patrick Harris’s boyfriend is staging at my work right now and he goes between LA and NY and he was saying how if someone in LA has an appt. 1 block away from their home, they drive. WOW. +theres no good restaurants, except like, Spago or Cut or something. But not much. UGH

 

-r

OhitsBeen@while

I basically fell off the face of wordpress. Apologies. I have so much to write about.

But let’s start off with current events shorthand-style.

The boy I loved and left for the other boy who stole my heart? Well, I’m trying to make it work again but 2ndhand man is still stealing my heart. UGH. FAIL. He just reminds me of everything I want that I dont have from the other guy. They are pretty much opposites and it’s driving me Crazyloco. oy.

Work is crazy. I need to save my drama post for another day.  But. I will be going to LA for 4 days saturday am for Meals on Wheels event. I’m excited. I need a break from ny and the guys, but mostly work.

Been dealing with a bunch of health issues. UGH. I hate making appts, and blah and bills, and I DONT GET PAID ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THIS.. damn. I’ve had my own personal health insurance for the past.. hmm 4 years? I just never wanted to be without it so when I knew I’d be working at my school for x-amount of time for classes, I didnt want to have a 3-4 month gap before I got it back again. So, every year I’m paying more and more for this shite and it is kinda fucking me over. I pay at least 176/mo This year… about over 2gs/year and they’re not covering shit. or theyre putting me at places in my network and then this fucking joints dont work with cooperating labs or whatnot. HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? And I’m constantly fighting them via email, phone trying to find out why they didnt pay a %. I win and sometimes I dont.

GAHH.

-r

holycrap.

ugh. so my boyfriend of 7 months is renovating his now owned park ave apartment. he has asked me to help him find the furniture and blahblahblah. like my opinion matters. welll apparently it does! hes saying its our home. its for the future. shit son. seriously. joint accounts, picking wood floor shades, couches, rugs, yaddayadda. im feelin that slight anxiety blowupinmyfaceshithittingthefan feeling.

fuck. what is a girl to do.

weird thing is id pay less than i do right now. i pay about 600- not including electric and agua nonsense in bushwick. So id be saving $ and living in the city again. [yay] also i dont know how i feel about his parents paying like, 2/3rds of the mortgage. its like mommy and daddy are taking care of shit. like giving him a bmw, now they agreed to pay for his insurance since he now cant afford it since he has to pay rent now with his little paycheck. he is turning 25 next month, wtf. grow up. pay for your own shit.

other than that, hes exquisite.

the most random sidenote/feeling: pinche twitter. gahd.

 

-r

muchoNews

The new girl at work blows. not only is she super slow and its been over a month already, but shes also a bit numb. She told a couple coworkers, that warm water in a warm plastic bottle can give you cancer, I feel that’s a bit exaggerated. When someone told her to label something, she turned to them and said, can you show me how? Christ! She went to culinary school, that’s one of the main things you learn and do every day! She didn’t know what a lowboy was. Like, talk about green. Sure this is her first restaurant job, mine too, but I didn’t have anyone to hold my hand. My department doesn’t have 2 people working nights and she does, so shes “lucky”. And no gives her hell, they just pick up the slack and do mas trabajo then they should be. Drives me bananas.She may never make it in the restaurant world, only thing on her side is her mediocre looks.. I could go on about how terrible she is But I shan’t. Other than that, shes a lovely girl.

Other rant would be that I hate when people stroll into work in jeans. You forgot your chef pants?? UHHH, go back home or buy a new pair. Like, this is not Chile’s, or fucking Taco Bell– actuallllly, I bet Taco Bell or BK have strict rules about attire, and not only that–they match! You are working in a 3 star restaurant, for an IRON chef and you are wearing  jeans??? WHO ARE YOU? Unacceptable.

I really need the G1, but it’s still, what? a gillion pennies? or $350ish? $170 if you get a plan with it. Ridiculous.

The boy and I. Well–I like him a ton, still not sure if it’s for the right reasons, but he is amazing. All the little things he remembers and does for me to make me feel better and to show he loves me. out of this world. I have never had this before. What I need now is a wall that’s not made by an amateur so that when we shack up I don’t disturb my roommates, oy. I know I have too. How embarrassing.

I’m sure there is mas, but time is not on my side kids. Until then..

 

-r

thetease

The tease is a delicate game.

There are so many out there where the male or female are tortured by another of great personality/looks and is constantly running after the carrot.

You get a text from them, they say lovely things that make you think, ‘OMG, omgomgomg!’ and you save all those texts or emails and re-read them everyday to be  reminded that the unrealistic, might turn to reality. *coughBULLcoughSHITcough* It’s hard, I know it. You need to delete that shit. They will lead you on and then  d i s s a p e a r .  Then you find out maybe a month later or so, oh, they’re in a relationship now, or they were always in a relationship, this equalling out to, they are a douchbag. But it doesn’t matter to you. You’re still in love them– from a distance, and always will be– from a distance.

The way one can survive tease magee, is to acknowledge the fact that your fantasy dream of you two being together or what have you, will NEVER happen. So many do not do this ,and end up being completely devastated, while the teaser is simply going on with life.

Either completely shut them down and end all forms of communication, or play their little game with confidence.

Hate this game.

 

-r

heartOFzeeMATTER

 

M: “you can say anything to me”

D: “i wanna marry you
i wanna have kids with you
i wanna build a house
i wanna settle down and grow old
i wanna die when im 110 years old in your arms
i dont want 48 uninterrupted hrs, i want a lifetime
do you see what happens?
i say things like that and you fight the urge to run the opposite direction.
its ok, i understand, i didnt, now i know, i do. youre just getting started and ive been doing this for a long time. deep down, youre still an intern and youre not ready”

M: “im not ready right now, things could stay the way they are and i can get ready, ill get ready.”

D: “things cant stay the way they are.
we can still meet in the elevator, the on call room, and maybe youll be ready. and ill wait, ill wait until youre ready.”

M: “ok then.”

D: “yea but if, what if while im waiting i meet someone who is ready to give me what i want from you?”

M: “and what if you do..”

D: “i dont know.”

 
greysanatomy|heartofthematter

 

-r

whenGirlsjustWannabeFriends

Why can’t guys wanna be friends too?

So I hung out with Ron Burgundy the next night to see if it would be awkward after we had argued about where he was sleeping.. and it was fine surprisingly. so when the weekend rolled up on us we went on about our business and our plans. We had a pretty good night for sure. we ended up heading into the city to hang with some of his friends and in the end it worked out perfect for me. when 3 am rolled around and they were planning on going to his place in east village, I was like ok.. that’s my cue. I’m going home. ha. so he didn’t have to stay over and I didn’t have to go to this place and be trapped.

The next day he texted me saying something along the lines of hey thanks for last night, I had a lot of fun blahblahblah, we should do it again and this time I wont mind sleeping on the couch like an outcast..yaddayaddayadda, telling me he misses me. ew.

He doesn’t get it does he?

So we haven’t really been speaking for the past couple weeks. and I don’t know if he knows why I’ve been this way, I just know when I say why I’m upset he will then reply with, ohhh but I was just kidding… pshh.

-r

itsbeenawhile..

things to update you on:

my work schedule changed. boooo/yaay

trust fund baby and I finally hung out to plan our yearlong trip around the world and then ate at morimoto and saw the man himself cooking..

me and the ex are finally final. im 99% sure [more on that on another day]

ive finally gone off the radar again in terms of going out and partying/drinking. oy vey.

me and ron burgandy are talking again.

we’re finally changing the dessert menu.

me and sun are already planning our thanksgiving menu.

been looking for a 2nd job.

i cant remember anything else right now.

xo

 

-r

3weekslaundry

Meh. I don’t really want to bring my laundry to the laundry mat. It’s my only day off and I don’t know how I want to spend it. Boo.

So my year is up at my job and I’d like to move on. My ultimate would be to travel for a year and stage at restaurants for 1-2 months. Oh the experience! I even found a travel buddy. He is apparently a trust fund baby so I don’t have to worry about him bailing because of $$.

I need to figure out how much longer I can handle being at my job. It is dramaX984367. Seriously. But if I don’t stay for 6 months then where do I work? What do I want to do? I need income.

So trust fund baby and I need to plan out where we want to go, how long, guestimate how much we need in total for ferry rides, train rides, hostels, food, winter clothing, fun, socks, cell phone bills for our iphones, postcards to send home, batteries for the thousands of pictures we’ll take.. I need to sublet my apt. Finding a chill/non-crazy person that is cool.

 

What a process. Or we can just fucking wing it. I like this idea, though I have been brought up to have a plan and 17 back up plans.. I feel sometimes in life you can’t plan shit.. just do it. It just happens eh?

oy vey.

 

-r

isgooglingthemenyoumeetSTRANGE?

Would you find it odd/creepy if the person you are dating or whatever had googled you?

I never thought of doing it until someone whos fond of that research technique exposed me.

It’s rather fun to be quite honest. The things you may find. Pictures, webshots, blogs, etc. Sites they belong to. Possible articles done on them.

But is it wrong? Is it considered prying? Dishonest in a way? Sure it’s sneaky, but whats the harm eh?

 

-r